I’ve been on this fitness journey for a long time—42 years to be exact. I started lifting at 8 years old and I’m now 50, and while goal setting has always been part of the process, the truth is that the happiest moments have come when I’m simply enjoying the training and seeking out active things I love. That’s also when I’ve been my strongest and most fit. We all have our own fitness paths, but too often, they’re shaped by outside expectations, unrealistic standards, or the belief that we need to be perfect to see results.
I don’t know about you, but I’m far from perfect, and chasing perfection sounds like a miserable way to live. The truth is, none of us are perfect, and maybe that’s exactly where our strength lies. There’s power in growth, and maybe there’s weakness in comparing ourselves to others. The real strength is in overcoming the pressure to be perfect and instead embracing our unique path, recognizing our flaws, and using them as fuel to push forward. Not out of hate or fear of what we don’t have, but out of gratitude for the simple gift of being alive.
This article isn’t about convincing you to follow someone else’s formula for success. It’s about helping you design a journey that fits you—finding joy in the process and showing gratitude for what your body can do. Real progress comes from consistency, not extremes, and from understanding that your imperfections are part of what make you capable of achieving more than you ever thought possible.
As you read on, I hope you’ll see that embracing your flaws and challenging yourself can unlock a healthier, happier version of yourself—one that’s grounded in your own goals and standards. Let’s redefine what fitness means and make it a journey that’s uniquely yours.
Shift Your Focus: Embrace the Suck
We often think success in fitness comes from sheer willpower, but in reality, it’s about something deeper—understanding and accepting ourselves, even in the tough moments. Let’s face it, no one wakes up every day excited to work out. There are days when motivation is nowhere to be found, when the weights feel heavier, and when everything about training just seems hard. And guess what? That’s normal. Those instincts to avoid discomfort, to stay in our comfort zone, are hardwired into us. But instead of seeing those feelings as a weakness or flaw, we need to recognize them as part of the process.
Even those who seem the most disciplined, the athletes and fitness enthusiasts you look up to, face this same internal struggle. The difference is that they’ve learned to “embrace the suck”—to accept that discomfort is part of growth. It’s not about pushing through it with brute force every time, but rather about acknowledging that resistance and then taking small, consistent steps to move past it. Every time you push yourself out the door or finish a workout you didn’t want to start, you’re not just building physical strength—you’re building resilience.
It’s in these moments of resistance that we truly discover who we are. You don’t have to be perfect to succeed. You just need to keep showing up, flaws and all, and be willing to embrace the discomfort as a sign that you’re moving forward. Those small victories, where you push through even when you don’t feel like it, are the real catalysts for growth. So, the next time you face that inner battle, remind yourself: it’s okay to not want to do it. But what matters is that you do it anyway. That’s where the real transformation happens—not just physically, but mentally.
Growth isn’t found in the perfect workouts or the days when everything feels easy. It’s found in those moments when you push through the suck, when you accept that this is hard, but still keep going. Each time you overcome that resistance, you’re not just training your body—you’re shaping the mindset that will carry you through the ups and downs of life. Embrace the suck, because that’s where real strength lies.
Make Movement Social
Humans are naturally built for connection, and fitness is no exception. When exercise feels like a solo grind, it’s easy to lose motivation or dread the effort. But adding a social element can completely transform the experience. For years, I enjoyed a great deal of success in my business by focusing on group training, and for good reason—there’s something uniquely powerful about moving together. Whether it’s a group workout, a class, or just meeting up with a friend, exercising with others adds a dynamic that goes beyond fitness. It becomes a shared experience, and those experiences can be some of the most rewarding parts of your journey.
We live for great experiences, and working out in a group turns what might feel like a chore into something you actually look forward to. The energy is different when you’re surrounded by people who are working toward similar goals. It’s no longer about just getting through the workout—it’s about being part of something bigger. You find yourself feeding off the energy of those around you, and suddenly, it’s not just about what you’re doing, but how you’re doing it together.
Here’s the best part: when you’re surrounded by others, the pressure to be perfect fades away. Sure, there might be moments when you find yourself comparing your efforts to those around you, but that’s not always a bad thing. If you shift that comparison into something positive, it can push you to go further, lift heavier, or try harder. It’s not about beating anyone else; it’s about using the collective energy to raise your own bar.
Quality Over Quantity: Consistency is King
Many people fall into the trap of thinking that to make real progress, they need to spend hours grinding away in the gym. But that’s far from the truth. In fact, there’s solid research showing that training near failure, rather than pushing yourself to complete failure, is often more effective for long-term progress. Yes, increasing volume can help you grow stronger, but there’s a fine line. Spending too much time in the gym or doing too much can actually hinder your success, leading to burnout, overtraining, or even injury.
The reality is that small, consistent efforts lead to the biggest results. You don’t need to live at the gym to be healthy. In fact, dedicating just 20 minutes a day to focused, intentional movement can make a huge difference in your overall health. If your goal is to live a healthy, active life, then consistency far outweighs intensity. Sure, if you’re chasing a physique that looks like it was sculpted by the gods, you’ll need to put in the work and lift some heavy weights. But if your goal is to simply feel good, stay mobile, and live a balanced life, it’s not about how hard you go in every session—it’s about showing up regularly and doing something that benefits your body.
The whole “go hard or go home” mentality is a myth that not only discourages people, but can actually put them at risk. Pushing yourself beyond your limits every single time isn’t sustainable and can lead to setbacks. The truth is, doing something—even if it’s small—is far better than doing nothing at all. It’s about finding a balance between effort and recovery, knowing that you’re doing the best with the time and energy you have.
There’s no need to chase perfection or think that every workout has to be intense to count. Progress comes from showing up consistently, putting in the effort that works for you, and letting go of the idea that you need to train like a machine to see results. Whether it’s a 20-minute walk, a quick bodyweight circuit, or a heavy lift, it all adds up over time. What matters most is that you’re moving, challenging yourself in a way that fits your life, and appreciating that every small step forward is a win.
By shifting your mindset from “more is better” to “small steps matter,” you’ll avoid the traps of burnout and frustration. The key is to embrace the idea that consistency, not extremes, leads to lasting success. Focus on what you can do, not what you think you should do, and you’ll find that your fitness journey becomes more enjoyable, sustainable, and impactful in the long run.
Get Real: Challenge Yourself, Not the Ideal
There’s a lot of pressure these days to push yourself to extremes, whether it’s from social media, fitness influencers, or even our own internal expectations. But here’s the truth: you don’t need to live like an elite athlete to be healthy, and you don’t need to measure your progress by anyone else’s standards. The real strength comes from recognizing that your journey is uniquely yours. It’s not about chasing perfection or competing with others—it’s about pushing yourself to be the best version of you. This isn’t just about physical gains, but also about honoring the incredible things your body is capable of.
Too often, we fall into the trap of comparison. We look at others and feel we should be lifting more, running faster, or looking a certain way to be “fit.” But the moment we stop comparing ourselves to an ideal that isn’t ours, we unlock something powerful: the ability to focus on our own growth. The truth is, when you stop chasing perfection and start appreciating the journey, that’s where the magic happens. Your progress might look different from someone else’s, and that’s okay. What matters is that you’re showing up, challenging yourself, and moving toward your goals.
You don’t need to follow extreme routines to be successful. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to fitness. The idea that you have to follow rigid protocols or train at high intensities every single day is not only unrealistic—it’s unsustainable. What you need is consistent, intentional movement. Whether it’s walking, strength training, yoga, or a mix of everything, finding the balance that works for you is what leads to lasting results. The path to health and fitness isn’t about how extreme you can go; it’s about finding what keeps you moving forward in a way that you can maintain for the long haul.
Think about this: your journey is not defined by how perfectly you execute every workout or how closely you follow a plan. It’s defined by your willingness to keep growing, to keep learning, and to keep showing up for yourself—even on the days when things don’t go perfectly. Embrace that fitness is about progress, not perfection. It’s about becoming stronger, more resilient, and more in tune with your own body.
When you shift your focus from chasing an external ideal to challenging yourself based on your own standards, you’ll begin to unlock potential you didn’t even know you had. It’s not about being better than someone else—it’s about being better than the person you were yesterday. And in doing so, you start to realize that you’re capable of far more than you ever thought.
Ultimately, your path to health and fitness is yours to design. Don’t get caught up in the noise of what everyone else is doing or what the latest trends say you should be doing. Find the balance that fits your life, your goals, and your body. Embrace the ups and downs, the successes and setbacks, because they’re all part of the process.
By focusing on growth instead of comparison, you’ll not only build physical strength but also the kind of mental strength that carries over into every aspect of your life. You’ll unlock parts of yourself that you didn’t know existed—the version of you that’s stronger, more confident, and more in tune with what matters most: your own journey.
Enjoy the Process: Fun Keeps You Going
Have you ever noticed how quickly time flies when you’re having a great time? That’s the beauty of enjoying what you’re doing—it stops feeling like work and becomes something you look forward to. If your workouts feel like a chore, it’s going to be harder to stay motivated in the long run. We naturally gravitate toward fun things and fun people, and that same principle applies to fitness. This is why it’s crucial to make your workouts enjoyable and personalized to fit what you truly love.
Stop thinking about exercise as something that has to fit into a particular mold or follow someone else’s definition of what a workout should be. Instead, design your movement around what genuinely brings you joy. Whether it’s dancing in your living room, hiking in nature, playing a sport, or even walking your dog, find activities that light you up. The more your workouts feel like play rather than punishment, the easier it becomes to stay consistent.
And don’t be afraid to experiment with different forms of exercise. You don’t have to stick to one routine forever. Try different activities that spark your interest, and you’ll find yourself looking forward to the time you spend moving your body. Maybe it’s group classes with friends that make you laugh and challenge you, or maybe it’s solo runs that give you peace and time to think. Fitness is deeply personal, and when you align your activities with what makes you feel good, it stops being something you have to do and becomes something you want to do.
Fun isn’t just a mental shift—it can change the way you approach progress. When you’re truly enjoying the process, you’re more likely to show up consistently, and that’s where the real results happen. The effort feels less forced, and the more fun you have, the less likely you are to burn out. Find activities you can do with the people you love spending time with. Whether it’s playing a sport with friends or taking family bike rides, the social element can turn movement into something that strengthens both your body and your relationships.
One of the biggest barriers to fitness is the idea that it has to be perfect or intense all the time. But when you let go of that pressure and just allow yourself to enjoy the ride, you’ll start to notice that fitness becomes part of your life rather than a dreaded task. The more you embrace that it doesn’t have to be perfect, the more you’ll look forward to it. It’s about progress, not perfection, and that progress will come naturally when you’re engaged and having fun.
When you enjoy the process, the results will naturally follow. You’ll stick with it longer, push yourself without even realizing it, and discover new ways to move that bring joy into your life. At the end of the day, fitness should be something that enhances your life, not something that drains you. So find what makes you smile, dive into it, and let the fun of movement carry you toward your goals.
Start Small, Stay Consistent
There’s a common misconception that in order to see real progress, you need to make massive changes all at once. But that mindset often leads to burnout and frustration. The truth is, real, lasting change comes from small, consistent actions that you can sustain over time. Starting small doesn’t mean you’re not making progress; in fact, it’s the most reliable way to ensure that progress sticks.
When you begin with something manageable—like a 10-minute walk after dinner, a few stretches in the morning, or swapping one unhealthy meal for a healthier option—you’re setting yourself up for long-term success. These small actions may seem insignificant in the moment, but done consistently, they build momentum. The key is that you’re creating habits, and habits are what ultimately lead to lasting change.
You don’t need to dive headfirst into an intense workout routine or overhaul your entire lifestyle overnight. That’s a sure path to burnout and discouragement. Instead, focus on what you can do today. Can you commit to 10 minutes of movement? Can you drink more water? Can you add one serving of vegetables to your meals? Start there. The smaller the commitment, the easier it is to stay consistent, and consistency is what leads to transformation.
Every time you show up, no matter how small the effort may seem, you’re embracing the idea that progress doesn’t have to be perfect or extreme. Imperfections don’t hold you back—they’re part of the journey. Some days, you’ll have more energy and be able to push yourself a bit harder. Other days, it may just be about getting through the basics. Both are valid. Both are progress.
The beauty of starting small is that over time, those small actions compound. A 10-minute walk today can turn into a 20-minute walk next week. A couple of stretches in the morning can evolve into a full yoga routine over time. The more consistent you are, the more natural these actions become. And once something becomes a habit, it no longer feels like a burden—it becomes part of who you are.
This approach allows you to grow at your own pace without overwhelming yourself. You’ll find that as you continue to take small steps, your confidence will grow along with your ability. You’ll begin to trust yourself more, knowing that you can stick to the commitments you’ve made. And the more consistent you are, the easier it becomes to add new challenges, because you’ve already built a strong foundation.
Progress doesn’t happen in a day, a week, or even a month—it happens over time. The key is showing up, consistently, no matter how small the action. So, take that first step. It doesn’t have to be big; it just has to be something. And each time you take another step, you’re moving closer to your goals and proving to yourself that you’re capable of far more than you realize.
We All Battle the Same Mental Resistance
It’s easy to believe that you’re the only one who struggles with that little voice in your head telling you to skip the workout, to hit the snooze button, or to take the day off. But here’s the truth: we all hear that voice. Every single one of us—no matter how fit, disciplined, or motivated we seem—has experienced that moment of doubt, the pull to take the easy way out. The difference between those who push forward and those who give in isn’t that some people are immune to these thoughts. It’s that they’ve learned how to respond to them.
That resistance you feel isn’t a flaw or a sign that you’re not cut out for this. It’s normal. In fact, it’s part of the process. Our brains are wired to seek comfort and avoid discomfort, so it’s natural to have moments where you question whether you should follow through with your plan. But here’s the important part: mental resistance isn’t a roadblock unless you let it be. It’s a challenge, and how you face that challenge determines your progress.
The real strength comes not from never hearing that voice of doubt, but from knowing how to embrace it and push through. When you feel that resistance, instead of seeing it as a weakness, recognize it for what it is—a signal that you’re on the verge of growth. That voice shows up when you’re about to step out of your comfort zone, and stepping out of that zone is where the real transformation happens.
Learning to navigate these moments of mental resistance takes practice. The more often you push through, the more you’ll build that mental muscle. And just like in physical training, the more you practice, the stronger you get. Each time you show up, even when you don’t want to, you’re reinforcing your commitment to your goals. You’re telling yourself, “I can do this, even when it’s hard.” Over time, it becomes easier to show up, even on the days when your motivation is low.
But it’s important to acknowledge that you don’t have to show up perfectly. Some days you’ll crush your workout; other days, just getting through it will be the win. That’s okay. The key is in showing up, flaws and all, and recognizing that every time you overcome that mental resistance, you’re making progress—not just physically, but mentally as well.
The more you embrace the resistance as part of the journey, the more resilient you’ll become. You’ll start to see that these moments of hesitation are opportunities to prove to yourself that you’re stronger than you think. You’ll learn that even on the toughest days, you can still show up for yourself. And in doing so, you’ll cultivate a mindset that isn’t just about getting through one workout—it’s about building a life where you consistently show up for your goals, no matter what that little voice says.
So the next time you hear that voice telling you to quit, recognize it for what it is: a test of your resolve. Push through it, and with each small victory, you’ll find that showing up becomes easier and more natural. You’re not alone in this struggle—we all face it. But it’s how you respond to that challenge that defines your progress.
Fuel Your Motivation: Feed the Muscle, Don’t Starve It
It’s no secret that what you put into your body has a massive impact on how you perform. Whether your goal is building muscle, increasing strength, or just staying healthy and active, your nutrition is what fuels that effort. A lot of people fall into the trap of thinking they need to starve themselves or follow extreme diets to see results. But here’s the reality: starvation diets don’t lead to lasting success. In fact, they can kill your motivation and stall your progress. If you want to perform at your best, you need to focus on feeding your muscles, not depriving them.
Your body thrives on real, nutritious food. When you prioritize healthy, whole foods—think lean proteins, complex carbs, and healthy fats—you give your body the fuel it needs to recover, grow, and stay energized. These are the building blocks that support your workouts and allow you to push harder without burning out. If you’re constantly under-eating or depriving yourself of nutrients, your body won’t have the resources it needs to keep you motivated, let alone build muscle or improve performance.
Starvation dieting might give you short-term results, but it comes at a cost. You’ll feel drained, sluggish, and your workouts will suffer. You’ll also lose muscle mass and, eventually, your body will go into survival mode, holding onto fat instead of burning it. This isn’t the path to a sustainable, healthy lifestyle. Instead, focus on fueling your body in a way that supports your long-term goals. This means eating enough to sustain your energy levels and making real, nutrient-dense foods a priority.
If you want to keep your motivation high and see real results, the key is balance. Make sure you’re getting enough calories to support your activity level. Focus on foods that nourish your body, not deprive it. Eat enough protein to rebuild your muscles after a workout, load up on vegetables and fruits for vitamins and minerals, and include healthy fats that support brain function and recovery. It’s not about restricting yourself—it’s about giving your body what it needs to perform and feel its best.
Think of it like this: every time you feed your body with the right foods, you’re fueling your motivation. When you nourish yourself properly, you’ll find that you have more energy to train, recover faster, and stay consistent. Your muscles will thank you, and your mindset will shift from one of deprivation to one of abundance. Food isn’t the enemy—it’s the fuel that powers your goals.
At the end of the day, the real key to success isn’t found in starvation, but in smart, sustainable eating habits. Focus on real food, eat in a way that supports your training, and remember that fueling your body is fueling your motivation. When you take care of yourself from the inside out, the results will follow. So feed your muscles, fuel your drive, and let go of the idea that you need to starve yourself to make progress.
Consistency is the Real Game-Changer, Not Perfection
One of the biggest reasons people give up on their fitness journey is the misguided belief that they need to be perfect to succeed. But let’s set the record straight: perfection isn’t the goal, and it never should be. The real game-changer is consistency. Life is unpredictable—there will be days when things don’t go according to plan. You’ll miss a workout, eat something that doesn’t align with your goals, or feel less motivated. And guess what? That’s okay. What truly matters is your ability to show up regularly over time, even when things aren’t perfect.
Perfection is an illusion that sets you up for disappointment. No one gets everything right all the time, and expecting that of yourself only leads to frustration and burnout. Instead of striving for flawless execution, shift your focus to consistency—because consistency, not perfection, is what drives real, lasting progress. It’s about showing up, doing your best with what you have, and moving forward, even if that means taking small steps on some days.
Think of it like this: progress is a result of cumulative effort, not isolated moments of brilliance. One missed workout or one less-than-ideal meal isn’t going to derail your progress. What will keep you moving toward your goals is the ability to stay committed, even when things don’t go perfectly. Showing up again and again, even after setbacks, is where true growth happens. The more consistent you are, the more you’ll realize that those small, imperfect efforts add up to something big over time.
There will be days when you don’t feel like working out, or when life gets in the way, and that’s part of the process. The key is not letting those moments define your journey. Instead of beating yourself up for missed workouts or a lack of motivation, recognize that those moments are simply part of the ebb and flow of life. They don’t erase your progress; they’re just bumps along the road. What matters is that you keep going.
When you embrace the idea that consistency is more important than perfection, you start to take a more compassionate approach to your fitness journey. You allow yourself room to grow, learn, and improve without the pressure of having to get everything right. This is where long-term success lies—being able to roll with the ups and downs while staying focused on the bigger picture.
Consistency is what builds habits. It’s what turns sporadic effort into a sustainable lifestyle. When you commit to showing up regularly, you’ll find that it becomes easier to stay on track, even when motivation dips or life throws you off course. You’ll also begin to appreciate the journey itself, recognizing that it’s not about flawless execution but about the steady, ongoing commitment to improving yourself.
So don’t stress about the days when things don’t go as planned. Don’t worry about missed workouts or less-than-perfect meals. The path to your healthiest, happiest self isn’t about achieving perfection; it’s about embracing the process, accepting the setbacks, and staying committed to the long-term journey. Every day you show up, even if it’s not perfect, is a victory that brings you closer to your goals. Focus on consistency, and you’ll find that the results take care of themselves.
Conclusion
Your fitness journey isn’t about fitting into someone else’s mold or chasing perfection. It’s about recognizing your own unique path, embracing the challenges along the way, and realizing that your flaws aren’t barriers—they’re stepping stones to growth. True strength comes from showing gratitude for what your body can do and pushing yourself to discover new possibilities within you.
As you move forward, remember that consistency, self-compassion, and joy in the process are the keys to lasting success. You don’t need to train like an elite athlete to be worthy of happiness, and you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else to find your value. The real victory lies in designing a journey that reflects your own goals and standards. By embracing your imperfections and challenging yourself, you unlock not just a healthier body, but a version of yourself you never knew existed.
Take each step with intention, knowing that every small effort is a reflection of your commitment to becoming the best version of you. Embrace all that you are and keep moving forward—just do it, as you make your moves.
References:
Sirois, F. M., & Hirsch, J. K. (2019). Self-compassion and adherence in the context of exercise: The mediating roles of motivation and intention. Mindfulness, 10(2), 268-278.
Baumeister, R. F., & Tierney, J. (2012). Willpower: Rediscovering the greatest human strength. Penguin Books.
Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 865-878.
Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389.
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68-78.
EXERCISE
