In times of loss, the way you choose to cope can significantly shape your healing journey. There are many paths to navigate grief. The best option is the one that allows you to honor both your emotions and the memory of those you’ve lost.
This article explores how physical activity can be a powerful tool for processing grief, fostering healing, and creating positive ways to stay connected to those you miss. It also addresses common pitfalls to avoid during times of loss, providing guidance on how to engage in practices that nurture both the body and mind.
Grieving and Leaning Into Pain, Not Away From It
Grief is an inevitable part of life—a deeply emotional experience that occurs when we lose someone dear. It can significantly impact both body and mind, affecting sleep, diminishing motivation, and altering our view of the world. However, how we navigate grief can shape not only our healing process but also how we remember and carry forward the legacy of those we’ve lost.
In my own experience, I’ve come to understand how grief can push us to either face our pain head-on or bury it deep inside, thinking we’re protecting ourselves. When I first lost someone close to me, I felt this instinct to move away from the pain and avoid it, but it was in those moments that I found myself struggling the most. It wasn’t until I chose to lean into those emotions that I could start finding a path forward.
In life, we naturally move either towards or away from things. When experiences feel good, we lean into them; when they hurt, we instinctively pull away. Grief is complex because, while memories can bring joy and connection, they also remind us of our loss and the finality of shared experiences. But what if, rather than moving away from grief, we could use it to create something beautiful—finding ways to positively integrate our loved ones into our lives and honor their legacy? This article explores how to use exercise and reflection as tools for coping with grief, not as a means of distraction, but as a way to actively heal and move forward.
The Role of Physical Activity in Navigating Grief
Exercise can be a powerful means of engaging with grief in a holistic way. Far from just being a distraction, it offers a way to connect with your body, process emotions, and balance your mental and physical well-being. I’ve personally found solace in movement. There were times when grief felt like a heavy weight pressing down on my chest, and it was through physical activity that I could create space for myself to breathe and reflect.
Releases Endorphins
Exercise triggers the release of endorphins—often referred to as the body’s “feel-good” hormones. These natural chemicals help to elevate mood and alleviate the physical and emotional discomfort that accompanies grief, providing moments of relief from the heaviness of sadness. I remember the first time I felt a true release after a workout; it was like I could finally take a deep breath. It didn’t take away the pain, but it gave me a chance to feel something lighter.
Calms the Nervous System
Grief often heightens the “fight or flight” response, which can lead to anxiety, stress, and restlessness. Physical movement helps to calm this heightened nervous system reactivity, providing grounding and balance. Activities like yoga, walking, or swimming are particularly effective at reducing stress and promoting a sense of peace. For me, yoga became a sanctuary where I could tune into my body and be fully present. It was like my mat was a safe place to unravel, let go, and reconnect.
Improves Sleep
It’s common for grief to disrupt sleep patterns, making restful nights rare. Regular exercise not only helps you fall asleep more easily but also improves sleep quality, allowing you to better recover physically and emotionally. Personally, I’ve found that the nights after a day of physical activity were the only times I could sleep soundly. The movement would tire out not just my body but my racing thoughts, making space for rest.
Reduces Stress Levels
Stress and grief go hand-in-hand, affecting mental and physical health. Exercise helps lower cortisol levels, which are responsible for feelings of stress. The rhythm and consistency of physical activity provide a natural stress release, offering a sense of normalcy in times of turmoil. I remember going to the gym during one of my most difficult periods, and it wasn’t so much about “getting through a workout” as it was about reclaiming a bit of stability and control when everything else felt chaotic.
Alleviates Feelings of Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD
Physical activity has been shown to alleviate symptoms of depression, anxiety, and PTSD—emotions often associated with grief. Movement encourages a safe space for expressing pent-up emotions, reducing feelings of helplessness, and providing an outlet for emotional release.
Creates a Sense of Freedom
Movement provides a sense of freedom, lightness, and space amidst the weight of grief. Activities like running, dancing, or hiking can help break free from stagnant energy, offering clarity, peace, and empowerment even if just for a few moments. Personally, going for a long run gave me time alone with my thoughts, without feeling trapped by them. I could feel the ground beneath me, the wind on my face—it reminded me that life was still moving, and so was I.
Enables the Expression of Emotions
Emotions are stored not only in the mind but also within the body. Exercise becomes a physical outlet, a way to safely express the intensity of grief. A powerful lift, a strong sprint, or a series of yoga poses can help reflect what you’re feeling, offering an opportunity to confront, connect with, and ultimately release your emotions.
Provides a Distraction
While it is important to process grief, having moments of reprieve is equally necessary. Exercise provides a mental break, shifting your focus and creating space to experience something other than your loss, allowing you to reset and regain emotional strength.
Helps Connect With Others
Grief often leads to feelings of social withdrawal, but physical activity can help you re-engage with others. Group fitness classes, a workout buddy, or even simply being in a gym environment offer a chance to connect, be supported, and remember that you are not alone in your journey.
Activities to Support Grief
- Yoga: Encourages mindfulness, grounding, and flexibility, allowing for deep self-reflection.
- Running/Walking: Offers rhythmic movement and time in nature, creating both physical and mental release.
- Martial Arts: Provides empowerment, discipline, and a constructive outlet for releasing tension and pent-up emotions.
What Not to Do While Grieving
While exercise can be a healthy coping mechanism, it is crucial to avoid certain behaviors that can complicate or prolong the grieving process. Here are some key things to avoid:
Do Not Try to Self-Medicate Emotional Pain
In my journey, I’ve seen how easy it is to reach for something that might numb the pain—alcohol, drugs, or any other form of self-medication. But grief is a process that requires working through emotions rather than masking them. While substances may provide fleeting relief, they often lead to increased depression, anxiety, and disrupted sleep. Instead, lean into your emotions, allowing them to surface and be processed naturally.
Do Not Avoid the Pain You Feel
It’s tempting to hide from the pain of grief, but doing so will only prolong and intensify what you’re experiencing. The grieving process begins with acknowledging and feeling the pain of your loss, which is an essential step in adapting to life without your loved one. When you lean into the pain now, you create room for emotional healing and balance in the future.
Do Not Overwork Yourself
There was a time when I thought burying myself in work was the solution. Staying busy seemed like a way to avoid the pain, but it quickly became clear that overworking is not a path to healing. Neither are other methods of avoidance like drinking, excessive exercising, eating, or sleeping. These distractions may temporarily numb the pain, but they do not help you confront or process your loss. Grieving is a journey that takes time; the emotions that come with it need to be faced and accepted in their own time.
Do Not Isolate Yourself From Support
Grief can make you want to withdraw, but isolating from friends and family can hinder your healing. I learned the value of staying connected when it felt easier to close off. While some alone time is healthy for reflection, complete isolation can deepen sadness and slow down recovery. Allow the support of loved ones to be a source of comfort and strength, sharing memories, and connecting even when it feels challenging.
Do Not Neglect Other Relationships
It’s easy to become consumed by grief, but it’s important to remember the other people in your life who care about you—whether it’s your children, siblings, parents, friends, or coworkers. Maintaining those connections not only prevents social isolation but also helps you remember the love and support that still exists around you. I found that being present for those who cared about me gave me strength when I needed it most.
Do Not Focus on Regrets or Past Actions
Regret and self-blame are common responses to loss, but focusing on “what ifs” can be deeply harmful. It’s easy to replay past conversations, choices, or actions, but it’s crucial to acknowledge that you made those decisions with the information you had at the time. Rather than dwelling on what you might have done differently, focus on the present and how you can continue to positively influence your relationships with others.
Do Not Compare Your Grief to Others
Every person’s grief is unique. Comparing your emotions, coping mechanisms, or healing process to those of others can lead to self-criticism and guilt. I used to think my grief should look a certain way, but I learned that there is no “right” way to grieve. Allow yourself to experience and honor your own process without measuring it against someone else’s pain or timeline.
Do Not Make Major, Life-Changing Decisions
When dealing with significant loss, you may have the impulse to make drastic changes, like moving or changing jobs. However, making life-altering decisions in the midst of emotional upheaval often leads to regret and confusion. These impulses are often a way to run from pain rather than confront it. Instead, focus on healing and emotional clarity. Once you’ve processed your grief, you’ll be better equipped to make thoughtful decisions.
Moving Towards Positive Remembrance
Grief does not have to mean letting go of the connection you had with your loved one. Instead of moving away from those memories, you can find ways to honor and positively integrate their presence into your life. Here’s how:
Daily Rituals for Reflection
Engage in small, meaningful acts that honor their memory, such as wearing something they gifted you, cooking their favorite meal, or listening to their preferred music. These rituals make space for remembering their impact on your life in a comforting way.
Physical Space for Reflection
Create a dedicated area with photos, mementos, or a journal where you can sit, reflect, and remember. This space isn’t just for mourning but for staying connected in a positive way.
Continue Their Legacy Through Actions
Carry forward their passions, hobbies, or values. Whether it’s volunteering for a cause they cared about or participating in an activity that resonates with their spirit, you keep their influence alive.
Share Their Stories and Memories
Talking about your loved one with others can be a powerful way to keep their legacy alive. By sharing joyful and meaningful memories, you transform grief into connection and comfort.
Celebrate Anniversaries and Milestones Positively
Use significant dates to honor your loved one by doing something meaningful, such as taking a nature walk they would have loved or hosting a small gathering in their honor. This turns days of mourning into opportunities for joy and celebration.
Engage in Living Tributes
Create something in their honor—whether it’s a garden, a piece of art, or even an annual event. A living tribute provides an ongoing reminder of their presence and ensures their life continues to make a positive impact.
Move in Their Memory
Use exercise as a way to feel closer to your loved one. If they loved the outdoors, go on a hike. If they enjoyed music, dance to their favorite songs. Engaging in physical activities that connect to their spirit allows you to keep sharing experiences with them.
Journaling Letters to Them
Write letters to your loved one, updating them on your life and sharing how you’re honoring their memory. This can provide a sense of continued connection and a safe space to express both your grief and joy.
Mindfulness and Meditation for Reflection
Practice meditation or mindfulness, focusing on memories that bring comfort and peace. Visualizing cherished moments with your loved one can transform grief into a positive connection.
Conclusion
Grieving is not about letting go but about finding ways to carry forward the love, lessons, and memories of those who have impacted our lives. Physical activity can play a significant role in this process, helping you work through grief in a way that honors your emotions and your loved one’s legacy. By approaching grief with patience, self-compassion, and support, you can transform the pain of loss into a source of strength, growth, and continued connection., you can transform the pain of loss into a source of strength, growth, and continued connection.
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EXERCISE
